Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Dating’

You sit down with and old friend you haven’t seen in years. As the two of you laugh, talk, and catch up on your lives, your friend says something you never expected them to. You learn something about them that changes your view of who they are, and you now perceive them differently. When the two of you part, memories of times with this friend flood your mind. Though now they feel different, based on this new information. You wonder if that’s a good thing or not.

Memories can be “tainted” by things you learn from friends. “Taint” in this case can be either good or bad. ¬†For instance, you could come to get to know a friend better by learning something positive that’s happened to them recently that’s changed them. When you look back on the memories, the new knowledge gives you greater understanding of who they are in hindsight, and the great times become even better. You come to care for them more through your new understanding of the memories. Or, you can learn that someone isn’t who you thought they were, that they’ve done things you don’t agree with and you can’t come to reconcile that with who you previously perceived them to be. Thus, you search through the memories, now seeing the signs and wondering why you hadn’t seen this coming.

The thing is, there will always be times that we learn something about someone close to us that seems to taint the memories in a bad way. Every one of us has times in our lives we regret, and we’re scared to tell those we care about. Because we know that when we tell them, it’s going to change how they view us. But that doesn’t mean that the relationship will end.

We all have a choice in each of our relationships. We choose to continue pursuing a connection with that person or not. Often, this isn’t a conscious choice we make, but rather a choice made in the subconscious. However, when we learn something that drastically changes our perception of someone close to us, that choice is thrust into the conscious mind. We must decide whether or not to keep that relationship alive.

One thing we always have to keep in mind is that love is a choice. It’s more than a feeling. It’s a commitment to that person, regardless of whether they’re family, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance, or husband/wife. There will always be new things to learn about the people close to you, and they won’t always be good things. What keeps a relationship alive is continued commitment to one another by making the, sometimes very difficult, choice to continue to love them despite their flaws.

After all, they’ve made the choice to stick with us, right?

 

I know there is so much more that could be said on this topic, and that there are many different views and opinions out there. How do you see this choice working in your life?

Advertisements

Read Full Post »